YouTube, the horror, the horror! What is this properly odd phenomena with kids watching other kids eating polos, opening kinder eggs, playing Wii/Xbox or some games thing and providing a running commentary throughout? And why do they all have such annoying voices?

The boy, aged 5 cannot get enough of this. As a consequence he is now really good on Minecraft and I am confident this will be a skill he needs in later life when we are long gone and they are all uploaded to the matrix. Incidentally have you ever played Minecraft? I kept bumping into cows and felt a bit sick, the only thing I could do was dig holes.

As with most things these days I swing between ripping the router out and throwing it into the garden as all this tech must be damaging the little sausage or I sit next to him writing blog posts or working, monitoring for anything adverse whilst the electronic nanny does its job. That phrase incidentally is from the 70’s when those awful mother type people sat their kids in front of endless TV shows whilst they drank gin, or kept the whole work life kids thing going, more likely the latter.

‘Square eyes’ is working for us at the moment. At 5, unless you have a really savvy one, they will more or less believe anything you say so when dreaded device time is up and I am fairly lenient (see aforementioned matrix) I simply mention his eyes are getting square, physically squaring off and we must play some dinosaur Lego death battle scenario to prevent this. It works a treat.